It’s As Though They Read My Mind

Dear Readers,

I knew that as soon as I started writing about my children again that it was going to be the impetus for some interesting experiences. It’s as though they read my mind.

I think that they plot together especially Amir, 4 and Anissa, 5 to see how far they can go to surprise me or cause me fits of laughter.

In the last edition, I wrote about Amir and his imaginative spirit. Well, not two weeks has passed and he has again managed to shock and amaze us.

He, being the swashbuckling adventurer, will sometimes have scissors, pens, sticks and play pirate. His behavior, is much to the chagrin of his sister, who puts up with his “aggressive boyish” ways.

I know that she is bigger and stronger but she always manages not to knock him out when they wrestle.

I know that IF and WHEN she decides to get the best of him, he is going to really get it good. But Anissa, is apologetic when she responds with a fighting spirit. She will start screaming, “I’m sorry, it was a mistake, I didn’t mean it.”

Amir will mosey into the room that an adult is in and proceed to point to whatever spot on his body ails him and complain with a long face, “NiNi hit me!!!”

During the last week, I had to laugh because Anissa (NiNi) really does a good job of making sure that she doesn’t hurt him.

Amir is usually the one standing in front of the television with his arms spread wide moving slowly back and forth with a smile on his face. Anissa screams for him to move and he never does without adult intervention. He seems to annoy the other children on a regular basis and enjoys it.

One particular night, Anissa started to toss and turn. As I entered the room I heard her talking in her sleep.

She sat up and said, “Amir, stop putting your slimy spit on me. You’re disgusting.”

After that she fell back asleep. I had a little chuckle from that one.

My Day of Rest

My friends from Detroit could not make it to my birthday party in Lansing because of the weather and decided to have a party for me at DeFusions an Asian club in Warren.

On that day, my head was cloudy and foggy from having a bad cold. It was the kind of cold that kicks your legs out from underneath you. But I had to go. I could not imagine someone having a birthday party for me and I didn’t show up.

In Detroit, I had a great time. I ate real Chinese food from Great Harvest, which is above DeFusions. I always love going to the club because they have a karaoke machine that has about eight different languages to sing with.

Of course my day would have not been complete without being sung to by a Chinese man, who was extremely happy and a terrible singer.

He sang “Pretty Woman” and it was quite a theatrical show. Everyone was in stitches. We had enough cake for everyone in the club.

Getting and Earful

Of course, in the middle of my party, I get a telephone call from Frank, my husband.

“Um, Amir is complaining about something in his ear.”

I asked him if he could see it and he told me that it looked like a pearl.

I thought well, Frank’s hands are as big as Amir’s whole chest so even if he had tried to get it out I was afraid that it would go further in.

We agreed to take him to the hospital. As I gathered my belongings for the hour and a half drive, my companions gave me all types of advice to get the pearl out. I was told to use a vacuum cleaner, hold him upside down and shake him or use a turkey baster to suck it out.

I could not even imagine telling Frank any of those options. He is so serious, he would have been mortified.

He doesn’t do “the doctor thing”. He can’t deal with watching the children cry when they get shots. Usually I am the one who goes and it doesn’t faze me any more.

I could hear the panic in Frank’s voice though. I thought well, it is his turn now.

My drive back from Detroit was long and tiresome. I drove straight to the hospital to find Frank looking as though he had just come out of battle. His eyes were tired and he looked defeated. Amir was knocked and in a deep sleep and hooked up to a heart monitor on him.

I was confused how did it get to this.

According to Frank, who told the story like he had just come from battle, Amir wouldn’t let the doctor retrieve the object from his ear.

Frank said they tried to put water down the ear to wash it out and when that did not happen they tried to use a tweezer.

Well, the whole tweezer incident did not sit too well with Amir who fought off four adults.

Frank said that he felt bad because he was the only person their to protect him and he obviously in Amir’s mind was a part of the problem.

He said that Amir began to tell him that there was nothing in his ear as he fought everyone off.

The doctor found that there was a popcorn kernel in his ear. Amir fought for quite a long time and they finally had to sedate him in order to get the popcorn kernel out.

Frank was in the hospital for four hours. The doctor joked that he was going to get a blow dryer and heat it up the kernel so that it could pop. The nurse said that they have seen all kinds of things in children’s mouths and noses but not a corn kernel.

I was cracking up laughing.

Frank who had this “what the heck is so funny” look on his face was traumatized by the whole situation and just sat in the chair. I am sure wondering how inventive his youngest could be.

A Lesson Learned

In the morning, Amir woke up and exclaimed brightly, “Whew, I went to sleep fast!!!”

He began to tell me his whole ordeal, especially the part about the tweezers, without taking a breath.

I thought he was never going to eat popcorn again but as we all know they forget quickly.

A few hours ago, I heard a chair dragging across the floor to the cabinet.

As I peeked into the kitchen, Amir was sitting eating out of a bag of popcorn that was put up high for obvious reasons.

He said, “Popcorn goes in your mouth and kernels go in the trash not in your ear.”

I responded, “Yes, you are absolutely right.”

Rina Risper