By Joe Walker
If April showers bring May flowers, then what do April snow showers bring?
Moodiness, the need for a winter coat, unwanted slick road conditions on a Spring day, increased decreased visibility for drunk student drivers, the desire to leave Michigan and never return, profanity … lots and lots of profanity: those are the things April snow showers bring.
It was partly cloudy the day the snow returned. I stopped at Kroger to get a gallon of milk. The clerk who waited on me recognized my face from The New Citizen, and he told me he really enjoyed my column. I thanked him. Next he commented on what I wrote in Nu Resolution #5. “Man, it would never snow here in May,” he said. “I was cracking up reading that though. You made some of that up, didn’t you?”
“Made it up?” I questioned. It was obvious to me the forty-hour work weeks in a climate-controlled grocery store had damaged this guy’s sense of whereabouts.
“I’m just saying,” he continued, “I thought maybe you was just saying some of that stuff just to be funny.” At that point I thought of several jokes about brown teeth that would have been appropriate, but I’m no Joe Torry. “The sun is shining today,” he said.
“But its cold,” I said with a frown. Where I’m from, the sun does not always mean warmth. Looks can be deceiving, I guess, because I saw people wearing shorts and short-sleeved shirts. If you’ve lived through at least one winter in Michigan, you should recognize a snow cloud. The rapid drop in temperature is also a sign that the weather plot is about to thicken.
“It’s nice out,” he said, laughing as if I had just told another “joke”. “Winter is over. It’s springtime. It’s not gonna snow anymore more.”
I hope that guy hasn’t been walking to and from work. It’s springtime? APRIL FOOLS, buddy!
New Resolution #7: See New Resolution #5