Nu Resolution 6-8

By Joe Walker

“Will I appear on the news faster if I save someone’s life or murder them?”

No G’news is good G’news, if all the news is bad. Every Tuesday night my fiancé and I watch Shawn Ryan’s police drama, The Shield. One of the best television programs I’ve ever watched, this tale of dirty-cops-as-heroes gets darker, yet more compassionate and intriguing as the ongoing stories progress.

On a particular night after a particularly dark, saddening and revealing episode, we decided to wind down by watching News 6 At 11. After the first fifteen minutes I thought I was still watching The Shield. The newscasters went on about murders, robbery, drugs, lies, lay-offs, rape, trials about crimes, and bad weather! Dang!

I must have missed something here because I can’t recall a time where there was this great a lack in good news. After talking sports and a detailed report about the week’s weather, they spoke three-or-so minutes of good news to close the show. Huh? Some old lady from Mason is turning 200 years old this weekend? Cool. Johnny Fireman wore clown makeup when he visited Pinecrest Elementary School today? Sweet. Amanda Kool-aide’s big, red dog can fly a kite? Nifty.

If I was just getting out the shower and heard a scream, then ran and looked out my window to see a hurt child laying in the middle of the road, and I immediately darted outside to rescue the child from oncoming traffic, and the sight of my nakedness caused some people to crash their cars; would I make the news for being a hero or for being some crazy, streaking guy who caused car accidents?

New Resolution #9: At 11, watch Sportscenter or The Fresh Prince instead.