Plain Talk 4-12

By Frank Risper

  Well it is time to revisit my progress for the last two years.  I can truthfully say that I believe I have turned the corner.  I am going to be all right.  It seems as though nothing seemed right since the day that I lost my mother.
     As I look back, I have learned that it is normal to grieve.  Some people grieve longer than others and that is acceptable.  The important thing is that we recognize and honor each stage of grieving and the emotions that come with them.
     Even if the loved one has been sick for a long time and you can see the end coming, you are still in shock when it happens. 
     You may experience denial, anger, numbness, confusion, fear or helplessness.  But eventually acceptance will come, then you will start to understand that death is not the end but just a transformation from the physical to the spiritual side.  The relationship has just changed.
     I know that my mother still watches over me, I can sense it.  So we must grieve, in doing so we release the negative thoughts and emotions that make it so hard to accept the change.
     We owe it to ourselves and the memory of the relationship to grieve and give our bodies the opportunity to cleanse itself.
     A year after my mother died, our family home was lost to a fire.  After that happened, my relationship with my siblings changed.  We were not as close as we were before.  I feel as though they blame me for what happened.  It was an accident.  Accidents happen and then you continue to live on.
     I have not spoken to some of them in over a year and that is not by my own choosing.  I am at peace with myself and even though our relationship seems fractured I still love and pray for them.  
     As I write this on Father’s Day, I must say that I am grateful for my wife and my children.  God has been very good to me and my children have not had to stress or worry about a thing.
     As I turn the corner, I would like to personally thank some people for helping me get through and noticing that I needed help. 
     Before the events of last year, I never knew what depression was.  Depression was a stranger in my life so when it showed up in my life I did not know how to defeat it.  Depression arrived with a sidekick called “stress”.   No one could help me through it except for a professional. 
      I thank Dr. Ronald Frandrick for helping me through it by understanding who I was as a whole person. 
   He helped me with the tools I needed to defeat them. 
      Depression and stress come through all circumstances, if depression or stress has taken up residence in your spirit, don’t wait, get help.
      Also surround yourself with people who understand.  I was very blessed to have two upstanding women on my job who made sure that I received quality and professional treatment on and off the job.  It was difficult discussing issues with anyone especially since I am usually a quiet man.  For all you men who are experiencing what I experienced, get help do not work yourself into an early grave.
     I now have victory over sleepless nights and stress filled days.  I feel as though I stand on top of the mountain now instead of climbing rocky mud slicked cliffs.  The warm sun and the glow of achieving a spiritual breakthrough is reward enough.
  To God be the glory.  Remember to keep the faith, trust in God only and seek after a pure heart. God will be pleased.