It was a good Thursday night. I did not have to work my night job. I had just paid off a big bill that removed a lot of stress from my mind. My life seemed to be on a solid okay footing. Going to bed early is a luxury I rarely get to enjoy. It was quiet in the house. And since it is getting towards the end of summer I appreciated the fact that it was darker than normal. With the dog lying on the floor at the foot of the bed I felt good. I had a sense of contentment as I drifted off to sleep pondering what my next life adventure would be.
There was a noise. It awakened me from a deep sleep. The clock said that it was 3:12 AM. I heard the noise again. It was a high pitched chirp. I lay there not wanting to move as I tried to determine if the noise was inside or outside. I have a philosophy if there is something going on outside then I can ignore it since I am inside. I am not going to go for the stereotypical horror film go look see. The problem arises when outside comes inside. I heard the noise again, a quick staccato cheep that was not quite bird. I was trying to convince myself that I had not heard the noise before. The noise was just far enough away for the moment for me to ignore it and go back asleep. Then it happened just over my head. There is only one thing that sounds like that. Bat. It is now 3:14 AM. I pulled the covers over my head and tried with all my might to pretend nothing was wrong so I could go to sleep for another couple of hours.
I was drifting in an out of sleep for the next couple of hours until this flying rodent looking mammal bounced off my covers and it was felt on my leg. That is when I decided it was time for me to man up and deal with this annoying mouse with wings. I peered from under the covers, turned on a light in order to assess the situation. Boy, this one had a huge wing span. I realize this is sounding like a fish story but that was not a mouse with wings this was a rat look alike with a huge wingspan. As I was getting over my initial shock, I was also trying to decide what it would take to trap this nuisance. A second bat swooped in behind the first one. I screeched. Then I chastised myself immediately for being such a wimp. I got up. Actually I slithered out of the bed, crawled across the floor, slithered past the dog silently cursing her for not protecting me and getting rid of these flying screeching pests, and slid into the bathroom. I cannot function without taking a shower. Now, time to deal with my visitors. Where are they?
I was in and out of the house all morning and all day Friday with no signs of my fanatic flying furry friends. I came home from the night job and headed my way upstairs towards the bedroom while I was on the phone. I had forgotten about my visitors until I was walking into the bedroom and it flew at my face. Oh, the great equalizer is a winged, fanged, flying, scared, screech machine. I have had bats in my house before but my toleration for them has quickly waned. Luckily I was told about an expert. He goes by the Mole Man but he said he gets more calls about bats in the city than anything else. There was no comfort in knowing I was not special. I told him that he should do whatever he needed to do to stop me from being awakened by this freaky animal. I know what good they do for the environment. My feeling is as long as outside stays outside I am okay but as soon as outside comes inside then something has to happen. Buck the Mole Man was able to put me at ease a little when he told me hilarious stories about his critter encounters. I have no idea what I would have done if I had an experience like his, finding a snake in his pants. And no, he was not camping. The bats seem to be gone but I am still cautious, my bat gear is near and I have Mole/Bat Man on speed dial.
~Melik / me2upro.com
