By Tashmica Torok
I didn’t recognize the voice or the number that flashed across my caller I.D.
956?
9 – 5 – 6 . . . ?
Did I pay all of my bills on time? Sad but it’s true. That’s what I thought.
Her hellos were familiar but over the ruckus of three boys hopped up on video games a la Funtyme of Okemos and dum dums , it was hard to make out.
And then it hit.
*sigh* Grandma.
“Granddaughter, you have been on my mind.”
She went on for a minute about all of the times she thought of calling me and failed. She and I both know that the call fail will always be with me. Someday I will regret it.
She heard that I was hurting. She heard that things were not easy. She, like God, came right on time even if it was not when I asked.
Her “yeah, yeahs” were like the ones said over a little girl with bloody, skinned knees.
She didn’t say it was fine. She didn’t say she knew how to fix it. She said that I was growing.
“Growing.”
Truth is I am feeling much, much better. Days are making more sense. Past trauma doesn’t seem to be chasing me down with such leg aching speed. I am stronger for it. I am not hiding from it.
She just put a name on it. Growing. Stretching into my own bigger space in this world. Learning how much more room I have to fill in this world. Recognizing that I have never been less than but always more than how I was treated when I was just a tiny girl.
“Been there. Done that. Bought the t-shirt.”
Her jokes come like my own, tinged with just enough reality to ensure that others can recognize truth behind the knee slapper.
I hope I grow up to be just like her.
I programmed her phone number into my fancy texting, posting, mapquesting wonder of a phone and I will call her more often.
Someday, I know I won’t regret it.
Tashmica Torok is a local entrepreneur, blogger and community activist. Her blog, The Mother Flippin’: One Funny Mother is about encouraging women to improve the world through thoughtful, honest parenting, responsible business practices and advocacy for those less fortunate.
And laughter…loads of laughter!
To read more visit: http://mother-flippin.blogspot.com/ You can also “like” The Mother Flippin Fan Page at http://facebook.com/mother-flippin and follow Tashmica @Mother_Flippin on Twitter.
This was printed in the December 4, 2011 – December 17, 2011 Edition.
