By Rick Garcia
I grew up having my elders around the house. In those days, everything evolved around our “Abuela,” “Lola” or the old white-haired matriarch who took care of us when our parents were working. She was the after-school program and daycare with the benefits and perks of home and warm, loving hugs.
Today at my household, our family has continued that tradition having my mother-in-law, but with an impending caveat of living in a “Sandwich Generation.”
The “Sandwich Generation, according to Carol Abaya, a lead expert who coined the term, are those folks between aging parents who need care and/or help and their own children. Although most super-elderly find sanctuary at comprehensive assisted living communities, which is a growing market, it’s still not easy to become elderly or a parent to your parent(s).
Abaya offers other items on the menu to this phenomena: Club Sandwich: those in their 50’s or 60’s sandwiched between aging parents, adult children and grandchildren or those in their 30s and 40s, with young children, aging parents and grandparents. Open Faced: anyone else involved in elder care.
In today’s economic downturn, it’s difficult to maintain a household paying bills and trying to save for retirement. But it’s even tougher when you have to juggle responsibilities, providing for your own financial needs and lending a helping hand to your elderly parents or grown children — or both.
Nearly half of Americans 55 and older say they expect to provide support for aging relatives and adult children, according to a recent study by Sun America Financial Group and Age Wave, a research group that tracks the financial and cultural impact of the graying of America. “Family assistance has become the new retirement wild card,” says Age Wave founder Ken Dychtwald.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the majority members of the sandwich generation are wealthier and more likely to be married and out of the labor force. On average, they spend $10,000 and 1,350 hours each year helping their children and parents. For the economy as a whole, members of the sandwich generation are responsible for intra-family transfers on the order of $1.8 billion and 2.4 billion.
However, on the low-income spectrum of the population, many sandwich generation families are at a younger age set where grandparents are in their 40’s or 50’s who are caring or assisting their children parents in their 20’s or late teens and their grandchildren. In many cases, these younger grandparents have assumed the role of parent/guardian to their grandchildren. Without the parent, the strain is set on both the elder and child.
Growing up with elders, I see many social benefits of inter-generational households, where my children (when they are not spoiled) have fortified their self-esteem, communication skills, and yes, even discipline. I find myself becoming more patient and understanding as my own mother-in-law ages and have recognized that extra care is inevitable.
How funny it is that in most cultures outside the United States, elders are highly regarded and respected by the clan and are an essential part of the nuclear family. After all, our society “says” adults should be able to take care of themselves. But, as more live well into their 80’s and 90’s and families are dispersed across the country, everyone at some point will cross that path where they will look to elder care. If not today, then definitely in the near future.
Rick Garcia, a nonprofit executive, a civil rights advocate, blogger and a contributing writer for The New Citizens Press can be reached at rrgarcianrg@gmail.com
This was printed in the March 24, 2013 – April 6, 2013 Edition
