By Howard Smith II
My fellow black men, lend me your ear. Over the last few years, I’ve seen a lot of you venting because black women these days come off as “angry” and hostile in their outlook on men, particularly black men. But despite all the rhetoric, I need you to understand, there is a point to said anger. For one, black women in recent years have come out strong against street harassment and yet all I can hear is most of us do is complain how women demanding to not be bothered on the street is a sign of cognitive dissonance in their desire to meet a man. Nevermind the fact that in recent years, women in general have been getting MURDERED for rejecting a man’s advances; including Mary Unique Spears, a Detroit mother killed by a man at a family gathering who couldn’t get her number. But it’s just hysterics, right?
Furthermore, with the recent video of the young black female teen being body slammed by a police officer and former Oklahoma City police officer Daniel Holtzclaw being put on trial for raping 13 black women on duty, black women now feel as though they can’t even trust the law to protect them. Combine that with many black women, like my own mother, who have to watch the news and see young black men who look like their children (Tamir Rice, John Crawford, Mike Brown, etc.) be murdered in cold blood by police and it’s no wonder many are a bit on edge. But again, it’s just being too emotional, right?
Studies have shown that the two least desired demographics in online dating are black women and Asian men. But should a black woman decide to explore her options in dating, not unlike black men, suddenly she’s called a “negro bed wench” and a traitor to her race. Yes, the black woman is called a sell-out for dating even ONE non-black man after YEARS of being rejected by black men, but let one of us black men get curved by a black woman, and suddenly we won’t even speak to a black woman unless she’s #teamlightskin. While I’m on the subject, two more things I really want us to stop doing: please stop with the blatant colorism in how we treat black women and please stop fetishizing the idea of having biracial children. There is nothing wrong with having biracial kids, but there is something disturbing about only dating someone because you think your kids would be pretty on account of them not being black. Stop that, my man. Stop it now.
Speaking of biracial black people, I’d like to take this time out to also say that those who were on Twitter making fun of Halle Berry after she announced her divorce are childish and crass, including David Justice and Eric Benet. I honestly do think that Halle Berry may have some sort of mental Illness like depression or some variation of bipolar. There are many people who have the same illness and are still undiagnosed. She might need help if she’s not already getting it, but the fact remains Eric Benet cheated on her with Wilt Chamberlain numbers of women and attempted to blame it on poor self control (I’m sorry, “Sex Addiction”). David Justice allegedly beat Halle into losing hearing in one of her ears. So among the men ripping into her, these two need to have ALL the seats. This also brings up the gross double standard black women face in society: Liza Minnelli is divorced 4 times and it’s seen as just a part of her life while Halle is defined by her 3 failed marriages. Heck, we treat Steve Harvey as an authority on relationships and he cheated on his second wife with his third wife!
In closing, I just want to say to my fellow men this: black women aren’t bitter or angry. They’re tired of watching society demean and belittle them. They’re tired of watching their kids die. They’re tired of being expected to just take blatant disrespect and do nothing. When we as men decide to make their struggle for justice about us, we only prove their point. So either lead, follow or get the hell out of the way.
This was printed in the November 15, 2015 – November 28, 2015 edition.
