Nu Resolution
By Joe Walker
“Are fireworks still hiring?”
The 4th of July is a celebration of our nation’s independence. In honor we go to carnivals and pay too much for rides, eat loads of junk food that gives us gas and makes our butts bigger, and play overly expensive games we have no chance of winning. Many soldiers died so we could be independent enough to blow our money.
And we watch fireworks on the 4th; the ooh-and-awe-inspiring sky spectacular that leaves many stuck in traffic with sore necks. Your July 4th is a bust if your neck isn’t hurting at the end of the night. But lets not forget who makes this ode to “rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in air” possible: the independent businessman known as “The Fireworks Set’em-off Person”. Think for moment about how one becomes “The Fireworks Set’em-off Person”. You don’t even need to go to school. These days, you can get online and learn all you need to be independently successful in this field.
Some of you parents are raising these fireworks experts but don’t know it. You take your child to the local fireworks tent and buy them the coveted $100 pack. Your mind says buy sparklers, but your child says, “I want it, I want it, I want it!” Plus you let your child converse with the crazy-eyed attendant wearing a skull-decal t-shirt, who knows everything cool about fireworks. You figure you’ll give your child a little independence by letting them make the selection, and at home they set off these fireworks themselves.
You notice your child wearing black make-up and sketching flames in their notebook. The child doesn’t like to socialize either. You think they’re just being artistic, expressing themselves independently. You let your child surf the Internet unmonitored. You don’t want to infringe on their independence, so you don’t care what websites they visit. Soon they’re making homemade fireworks. And before you know it, they’re either peppering the sky for all our enjoyment or maybe blowing up their school …
New Resolution #13: Make children earn their independence.
