By Rina Risper
President and Publisher
The New Citizens Press
LANSING, MI — When Michelle Miles heard about 11-year-old Kahlil Hoard being seriously wounded when he was hit by a car on December 18, 2007, it struck a nerve, which was still raw from the death of own daughter, 13-year-old Jasmine Starr Miles. It seemed like yesterday that Jasmine had been tragically killed by an automobile on her way home from school on May 13, 2003.
Even though Jasmine has been gone for 4 years, Ms. Miles could immediately relate to the sense of suffering that Kahlil’s family was going through and will continue to go through for the rest of their lives.
After a long contemplative pause, Ms. Miles said, “What is it going to take? Sidewalks are going in slowly and pedestrian safety is not on the top of many people’s list of things to do. Kahlil’s death really hurt me. I felt horrible that another family had to experience what mine did.”
The lives of two children and two families, inextricably intertwined, by what some say could have been avoided with proper pedestrian safety measures.
I’m A Child of God
Jasmine was a vibrant young lady. There are some who say that she was one of the warmest persons that one would ever want to meet.
Jasmine’s religious beliefs were strong cornerstones in her young life. Jasmine was baptized at Mt. Hope Church of Lansing. As a devoted Christian, she was deeply involved with church activities. She was closely involved with the Youth Ministry and loved to sing.
Singing was Jasmine’s passion, she would find great pleasure in uplifting residents at local nursing homes. Ms. Miles reflected that Jasmine was always so deeply concerned with the needs of the elderly and treasured their wisdom. As with her concern for the elderly came just as strong an affection for children. Sundays were special days for Jasmine as she nurtured the children at Mt. Hope Church’s nursery. She was always readily available to babysit for close friends and family members.
Ms. Miles recalls, “Jasmine was involved in the wedding ministry and the children’s choir at church. She was making all of the grown up decisions right before she died. She was transitioning already, she wanted to leave the children’s choir and join the adult choir.”
On the day of Jasmine’s funeral, Mount Hope Church was packed with almost 3,000 people. People from as far away as Texas and California came to honor Jasmine. People were just touched as they offered condolences and words of support. Ms. Miles said that looking back in retrospect, it was amazing to know how far reaching her daughter’s touch was.
Jasmine never did have the opportunity to join the adult choir but she did give those she loved the greatest honor by singing at her own funeral. Just before she died, she was recorded at church singing “Touch of the Master’s Hand” with the children’s choir and they replayed it at her funeral.
“Touch of the Master’s Hand” is actually a poem by Myra Brooks Welch. It’s about not judging a book by its cover and gives a beautiful image that everyone is worthy no matter how battered or bruised. The purpose of the poem is to show that God loves us even when other people may not recognize how special and valuable they actually are.
Through prisms of love and faith, Ms. Miles was shown that people cared as her family struggled with their devastating loss. Even those who didn’t know Jasmine personally brought hope to the Miles family during the funeral. One of those special attendees, pressed a letter in Ms. Miles’ hand as she stood by her family greeting well wishers. The woman told her that she and her husband were two of the first responders at the scene of the accident. She told Ms. Miles to read the letter when she was ready. Ms. Miles wasn’t ready until 3 weeks later and looking back in retrospect she reflected that she wished that she would’ve read it sooner.
A Foretelling of Tragedy
It was Mother’s Day weekend in 2003. On Sunday, May 11, 2003, Ms. Miles spent the weekend with daughters, Noelle, 9; Chantel, 22; and Jasmine, 13. Working the night shift was taxing and Jasmine, cooked her mother a breakfast of pancakes and eggs and served them to her in bed. Doing sweet things for her mother and others was a part of Jasmine’s charming disposition.
On Monday, May 12, 2003, Ms. Miles took her mother to Flint, MI to see the doctor about some medical issues that she was experiencing. While in Flint, they went to go see Ms. Miles’ cousin who was diagnosed with cervical cancer. Her cousin’s body was being ravaged by cancer and death seemed imminent. Her cousin wasn’t doing well.
Ms. Miles said, “I saw how physically devastated my cousin was. We prayed with her for and for the Lord to give her strength. While I was praying, something rose up out of me. I started talking about a healing for her and that by Friday there would be many people healed and saved. I was praying from a place that I had not been but somehow knew I would be going.”
That evening she spoke prophetically but in a very different way. On Monday, after arriving home Ms. Miles took a short nap before it was time to work her second shift. When Jasmine came home, she woke her mother up, kissed her and gave her a bouquet of lavender lilacs. As Ms. Miles dozed back off to capture some more few precious minutes of rest, she took a deep breath of the fragrant blossoms of the lilacs. She remembered that Jasmine told her that she loved her as she dozed off.
The Unimaginable
On Tuesday, May 13, 2003, Jasmine received a ride to school. Ms. Miles spent the day buying Jasmine’s favorite foods and bought her a karaoke machine. Recently, Jasmine also had the opportunity to go to a conference that included the gospel singer, Kirk Franklin in Battle Creek. It was one of Jasmine’s most memorable experiences and Ms. Miles wanted to encourage her daughter’s gift of voice.
Ms. Miles said, “I didn’t know why I was buying her favorite foods and the karaoke machine. I was really touched by her kindness during Mother’s Day weekend. I was doing errands and I had this very rushed feeling. Something was telling me to go get her.”
Perhaps she was just being overly cautious but she just couldn’t shake her uneasy feeling. The Miles family lives in a very busy neighborhood. Waverly Middle School is on the corner of Snow Road and St. Joseph Street and is just over mile from their home. Due to budget cuts, some of the bus service had stopped and some of the children who lived on St. Joseph Street west of Waverly had to walk to school. The weather was getting nicer and the children would either walk to school or ride bicycles.
Ms. Miles was quiet as she explained how she found out about the accident. “I was on the phone coming down St. Joseph Street at about 3:25 p.m. I abruptly stopped talking to the person who I was on my cell phone with because I saw that St. Joseph Street was taped off. I couldn’t get home fast enough. It was the longest one minute drive. I could barely put the car in park. I was running up the driveway in a state of confusion.”
Ms. Miles opened the door to her home and called out Jasmine’s name 3 times and she didn’t respond. Ms. Miles at once became sickened by the panic and frantic emotions that accompany deep-rooted fear. As Ms. Miles would find out that unsettled feeling had turned into a reality.
On a busy street in close proximity to her doorstep, Jasmine lay dying, hit by two vehicles while crossing the street. It was a nightmarish walk into the shadows of the setting sun for Ms. Miles. Her feeling was incomprehensible as she frantically made her way to the scene looking for Jasmine and her friend.
“I saw the girl that she walks home with was standing there with a blank look on her face. Her mother came up to me and at that point I just knew, I just fell to my knees and started to pray. The police thought it was hysteria but it was the kind of praying that you hope that no has to do. It was so surreal. I wondered how could this be happening to my baby?” expressed Ms. Miles.
The police told Ms. Miles that she needed to go the hospital. Jasmine’s friend’s mother drove her, while both women hoped that Jasmine would be all right. Ms. Miles frantically tried to get in touch with her husband, Robert, and family members to tell them the horrible news.
“By the time I got to the hospital. They would not let me see her. They finally got me to settle down. How does anyone expect something like that to sink in? The minutes seemed like hours. At that point, I wanted to know what the facts were. They did not tell me that she wasn’t going to make it,” said Ms. Miles.
Mr. Miles was having the same surreal emotions as he rushed to be by his wife’s side at the hospital.
“I knew when I saw her that she was not going to make it. My husband and I were escorted back to where she was and I watched her slip away. When I saw her, I knew she was gone. She looked perfectly at peace with the exception of the brain injury and bruising on her leg. I could not see the damage that was caused to take her away. It was very difficult for my family, I wanted to hear her voice again,” said Ms. Miles quietly.
But regardless of how badly the Miles’ wanted Jasmine to wake up and be fine, she was pronounced dead at 5:55 p.m.
Ms. Miles recalled, “The first thing that came to my mind was how am I going to tell my children. My oldest daughter was on her way back home from college and my younger one was at home. I didn’t want anyone to go to the hospital when I knew that Jasmine wasn’t there spiritually. It was the most horrible thing, telling my daughter’s fiancé to pull over on the side of the road to tell my daughter that her middle sister was dead.”
I Will Never Leave You
At the funeral on Friday, May 16, 2003, many young people and family members were saved as they were called to the alter. It seemed as though Ms. Miles’ prophetic words during a prayer session with her ailing cousin had come to pass.
Even though Ms. Miles didn’t read the letter that was pressed into her hand at the funeral until 3 weeks later, the disastrous thought that her daughter died alone was put to rest. The letter that was pressed in Ms. Miles’ hand answered some questions that were lingering like dewdrops on a freshly spun spiderweb.
“My deepest fear was that Jasmine was alone but she was not. The woman and her husband prayed for Jasmine at the scene of the accident. My child was saved and baptized already so that made her entrance into heaven a smooth transition,” lamented Ms. Miles.
The woman that Ms. Miles had 30 seconds of eye contact with and a brief embrace will forever be connected with the family. As she and her husband, a paramedic, were driving up St. Joseph Street she saw an accident with a little girl. She explained in her letter that she was there and saw the whole incident. She explained that Ms. Miles’ daughter didn’t suffer.
Ms. Miles explained that letter also expressed the woman’s deep sadness about the events of the day. The letter explained that the woman went home with an uneasy feeling that washed over her body like a thickness. The woman wrote about how she had fell asleep only to wake up in a realistic dream that was replaying the harrowing accident over again. This time as Jasmine lay in the street, the woman saw Jesus sweep down and take her away.
While Ms. Miles still dreams about her daughter, in some sense trying to recapture a physical connection. She knows that she is not coming back. Dreams of being in a maze signify that the subconscious mind is still searching for answers. The loss of a child is difficult, but Ms. Miles and her family have powerful faith. She explained how losing a family member cuts deep, and it cuts even deeper when it is your own child.
The family went to counseling and continues to work on keeping Jasmine’s name and why she died in the public eye.
Ms. Miles said with honesty, “I am mad that it had to be my child but the only way I can look at is that God knew the appointed time.”
Lavender Skies
It’s still difficult for Ms. Miles to embrace the fact that her daughter is gone but she is constantly given signs. On a recent trip down South, Ms. Miles was the designated driver. While everyone was asleep, she observed a grove of beautiful lavender lilac flowers and remembered the lilacs that Jasmine had given her the day before she died. The day after the gift of the lilacs, began a journey for Ms. Miles of a life shattered into so many pieces that she didn’t think she would be able to put it back together.
As the first streak of the cool Atlanta sunrise came into view, Ms. Miles thought about how the lavender sky dripped into the blueness of it. The deep amber hue of the sun’s intention to shed light on the town where Jasmine was born on March 8, 1990, gave Ms. Miles insight to how astonishing and wonderful God could still be.
Lilacs are more than just a springtime flower with a beautiful fragrance. Their purple buds spend only 6 weeks maturing and after they bloom you must enjoy them quickly for in about 2 weeks they will begin to turn brown and die. The simple heart-shaped flowers brought on a special feeling for Ms. Miles.
“I could feel the tears begin. I wasn’t sure whether they were tears of joy or of sadness. Lilac trees. I lived in Georgia and never notice they had so many lilac trees. It was a phenomenal experience,” she said.
In the Victorian-era florioraphy, the meaning of flowers, became a part of social culture. Translated to mean “the origin of the language of flowers”, we still use flowers today to express our feelings without communicating verbally. Many secret messages were sent in the form of flowers and the receiver didn’t need a note to tell them why they received them.
All That Jazz
While it has been a hard road to travel, there’s solace in knowing that even in death Jasmine continues to give back to the community.
Jasmine’s friends and family created “The Jasmine Miles Memorial Foundation”, which was established to raise funds for scholarships. In 2006 and 2007, the foundation awarded 2 $1,000.00 scholarships and the tradition will continue in 2008. Because Jasmine was a part of the Class of 2008, there will be additional scholarships awarded this year.
Since Jasmine’s death her family and friends were energized to act on safety concerns in their neighborhood and organized a parent and student action committee, “Safe Miles for Jasmine” to address safety concerns in Delta Township.
Some of the accomplishments of the Committee are:
– New sidewalks installed /w in Delta Township
– Assisted /w Lowering Speed limits and identification of school zones
– Passing of State Law: "Jasmine Miles School Children Safety Act"
2008 marks the fifth anniversary of Jasmine’s death and Memorial Walk. In May, the school she attended at the time of her death, Waverly Middle School, will unveil a Commemorative Brick Garden in Jasmine’s memory.
The color purple/lavender is used in all of the promotions that are done in honor of Jasmine. The color is testimony to Jasmine’s strength and courage. “All That Jazz 2008” – Jasmine Miles Memorial Foundation’s mission is “Ensuring Safe Steps for all Children”.
The following events support pedestrian safety, Safe Routes to School, and the Waverly Community:
· April 19, 2008, Applebee’s Breakfast Fundraiser, 5400 West Saginaw Highway, Lansing, 8 a.m. – 10 a.m.,$5 per person.
· April 25, 2008, Basketball Jam, Waverly High School Gym,160 Snow Road, Lansing, 6 p.m. – 9 p.m. also the Presentation of Jasmine Miles Memorial Scholarship
·May 2, 2008, deadline for Memorial Brick Garden Orders
·May 17, 2008, Memorial Walk, Waverly Middle School620 Snow Road, Lansing, MI 10am, “Ribbon Cutting Ceremony for Memorial Brick Garden”
“All net proceeds for all fundraisers will be placed in the Jasmine Miles Memorial Scholarship Fund.”
Ms. Miles’ ultimate goal is to start a scholarship for Lansing students as well.
Looking to the Future
On March 29, 2008, 6 young women debuted to their family and friends. It was the ceremonial transition from adolescence to young womanhood at the Les Meres et Debutantes Club of Greater Lansing’s cotillion entitled “Timeless Legacies”. Jasmine should have debuted with sisters and her best friend, Amia Davis.
Ms. Miles said, “Jasmine debuted into heaven on May 13, 2003.”
Ms. Miles says that Jasmine is living on through the community service projects dealing with pedestrian safety and the scholarships. Jasmine’s dream for her generation and generations to come is being fulfilled. She added Jasmine loved so much while she was alive that she is still giving in death.
Never Could Have Made It
Ms. Miles says that her faith in God has helped her through these trying times. “I first and foremost had to take care of my family. God got me through this situation. I took a breath and I put one foot in front of the other. I would hope that this would never to happen to anyone. I want people to hear our story and encourage them to remain strong through their struggles,” said Ms. Miles.
“My biggest fear is that my daughter will be forgotten. That motivated me to push forward. She made an impact on people. I received many letters and heard many stories. I did not know how many people she impacted. So Jasmine is still working to lower speed limits, get sidewalks and educate children and adults about pedestrian safety.”
Ms. Miles said, “You don’t realize what you have until it gone. She was always laughing and happy. Whatever emotion she expressed was 100% or more. She was very loving. I miss that about her. I feel like I can look back and say I could have never made it without the Lord.”
Rebuilding their lives without Jasmine has been difficult. A new sidewalk was installed on the south side of the street and embedded in it is a plaque dedicated to Jasmine’s life. As lilacs are known for their long-lasting scent that is so lovely and carries for miles, Jasmine will be remembered through the impact she has made on the lives of each recipient of the scholarships named in her honor, each foot impression made on a sidewalk laid after her death and each person as they remember the fateful date, it’s circumstances and how the fight needs to continue for safer streets for pedestrians.
Please email Michelle.Miles10@sbcglobal.net for more information about how you can help with any of the programs mentioned.
