By Dr. Daneen Skube
Tribune Media Services
Q. I have a coworker whose mood swings gives me whiplash. One day he seems confident and full of energy. The next day I have trouble getting him to help me put together a memo. We work in a very stressful industry. Is the job making him act this way or is it something else?
A. Even though there are days we believe are jobs are making us crazy, a stressful environment can only aggravate the emotional vulnerability we already have. Many human beings who are on the planet came from ancestors who had lower levels of “feel good” chemicals in their brains. The primitive people who were bliss puppies were possibly eaten by a saber-toothed cat while they were sunning themselves on a rock.
While it makes sense that many of our ancestors were probably anxious enough to spot problems, it doesn’t make sense that some of us swing from enormous highs to enormous lows. Yet there are long lists of artists, poets, literary geniuses and extremely creative people who have lived and sometimes died exploring the extremes of human emotion.
In extreme form, some people have a vulnerability to something called bipolar illness. People who suffer with this biochemical issue struggle to maintain mood stability. They often are first diagnosed with depression and typically do not find out they are bipolar for 10 years or more.
The trouble is many people who have bipolar illness don’t have the classic symptoms of giddy mania; instead their highs show up as extreme irritability and angry outbursts.
Since I can’t diagnose your coworker from a distance, you want to ask yourself if it seems your coworker’s moods have always fluctuated widely. If the answer is yes, your coworker may have been born with a brain that struggles to maintain even moods.
We live and work in a culture that sometimes believes mental illness is “all in your head.” People who have issues with brain chemistry can’t just “buck up” as there is no amount of bucking that will change your brain.
When people first find out there are physical reasons they struggle to function normally, they often feel relieved to know there is something they can do about it.
Instead of suggesting to your coworker that he might be crazy, try talking about someone else you knew who found out they were bipolar. Describe the symptoms to your coworker and let him take it from there.
You don’t have to pity anyone in your workplace who struggles with emotional illness, but you can provide information that it isn’t their fault. You can also expect them to get on medication, seek out therapy, and function well in the workplace. Mental illness is a diagnosis, but with help it is not a destiny.
The last word(s)
Q. I’m about to graduate from college. Can I find a job that combines making money and really liking what I do?
A. Yes, people who adore their work rise to the top of their fields and people at the top always make more money.
Daneen Skube, Ph.D., executive coach, trainer, therapist and speaker. She’s the author of “Interpersonal Edge: Breakthrough Tools for Talking to Anyone, Anywhere, About Anything” (Hay House, 2006). Contact her at www.interpersonaledge.com or 1420 NW Gilman Blvd., #2845, Issaquah, WA 98027. Sorry, no personal replies.
