Nu Resolution
By Joe Walker
“Once taught to tie shoes, should children also be taught to change the tires?”
Remember how you’d race a friend in the school hall? Remember witnessing some random kid or two dart by you in the store as if a medal was at stake? The finish never concluded with a camera flash. It was usually an adult intervening. “No running,” they’d say.
I was in the mall recently and caught eye of two young boys winding by in flash. Only they weren’t running the entire time. In mid-sprint both boys started rolling … on their sneakers. Wheels ejected from the bottom of their tennis shoes. The foot race instantly became a skater duel, like sudden death on Rollerball. A mall security guard was waiting at the finish line. He didn’t wave a checkered flag. He didn’t take their picture. Neither boy was handed a medal.
He handled them a warning. “There’s no skating in this mall,” he said. “But we’re not wearing skates,” said one boy, in a bratty tone. “No rolling on Heelies either,” said the guard. “If I catch you rolling again you’ll be asked to leave.”
I’m guessing it was the racing that was the problem. Those two boys weren’t the only ones on wheels in this mall. My remaining time there I noticed several children in wheeled sneakers. More shocking was the number of teens and adults who wore them as well.
Is this the evolution of human mobility? Crawl, walk, run, drive; lace your shoes, tie your shoes, steer them: Consider it if you haven’t. I’m thinking this has gone well past the stages of a fad. I’m sure we’ve all heard an adult say, “Tie your shows before you trip on the laces.” I can’t imagine my mother saying to me, “Boy, tie up your shoes before the laces get caught in the wheels!” But our children’s children just might.
New Resolution #27: Accept the fact, life keeps rolling – literally.
