If your head is above water at the end of the year, you and your business will be all the stronger. Keep focused!
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Dr. Daneen Skube,
Tribune Content Agency
Q: I had detailed plans for my business, but this economy is making my plans unlikely to succeed. I’m disappointed that I put so much energy into strategies that required a stable economy. Now I feel like I have to just dog paddle this year. What’s the best advice you give clients when change shreds their business plans?
A: For 2023 I’m telling clients running businesses that if they can dog paddle their way through this year, they’re doing well. Recessions and economic downturns can drown businesses, so allow yourself to redefine success as simply surviving this year. All economic indicators predict a harsh winter for businesses. Just like an actual winter, harsh conditions are a “survival-of-the-fittest” situation. Studies in survival psychology repeatedly find that creativity and emotional resiliency are the most important traits during challenging events.
As adults, we may believe our survival is dependent upon one job, one industry, or one boss. If conditions take away that job, that industry, or that boss we freeze in terror. We forget we were OK before that job, industry, or boss. We forget that we’re more than that job, industry or boss. Most adults are also fond of familiar circumstances. As grownups, we have a bit of inner toddler influencing us. We like our nap, graham cracker, and play time in the same order. If conditions that we conflate with our security go away, we fear for our future. Fear can be a useful motivator.
However, fear can also cause us to freeze, flee, or fight with no pre-planning for our long-term interests. Making fear your friend, not your foe, requires feeling the physical emotion with no action — until you engage your brain. To shrink your fear, ask what catastrophic outcome you’re imaging.
When I started my business my worst outcome was I’d fail and become a bag lady. Once I could see this fear I could have a conversation with it. My brain pointed out that with a PhD, extensive network, and the experience of self-employment if I failed I’d be able to get an even better job than the one I left. Each emotion we feel can help or hurt us, depending on how we act. The emotion does not have to control our behavior.
Unfortunately, since emotion can make us feel uncomfortable we may act impulsively to get rid of our feeling. Impulsive strategies generally move us from the frying pan into the fire. There’s nothing wrong with having a funeral for your previous plan for this year. There’s nothing wrong with being disappointed. You’ll use all the work that went into your initial plan when the economic winds shift. The reason there are so many humorous sayings about planning is we cannot control everything.
Sayings like, “Man plans, God laughs” point out that planning is normal, but the timing of the universe may force us to wait or change. When I skied as a young person my best skiing instructors said, “Keep your knees bent Skube!” I often think about what good advice that is for work and life. When we “keep our knees bent,” we’re flexible when we hit the inevitable moguls or bumps on the hills we traverse.\ So for 2023 dear readers, keep your knees bent. Your plans are not gone, just delayed. If your head is above water at the end of the year, you and your business will be all the stronger for the experience!
The last word(s)
Q: I’ve had a long conflict with a co-worker. I’m really tired of battling with her, but don’t see an alternative. Is there a graceful way to exit constant conflict?
A: Yes, consider the effort it takes to catch dirt on fire and realize conflict cannot continue without your participation. Paraphrase her, stop reacting, and the conflict will sputter out since you’re no longer adding fuel to it.
Daneen Skube, Ph.D., executive coach, trainer, therapist and speaker. She’s the author of “Interpersonal Edge: Breakthrough Tools for Talking to Anyone, Anywhere, About Anything” (Hay House, 2006). You can contact Dr. Skube at www.interpersonaledge.com or 1420 NW Gilman Blvd., #2845, Issaquah, WA 98027. Sorry, no personal replies.
