Dr. Daneen Skube
Tribune Content Agency
Q: I spend my time at work trying to fix technical problems, or bureaucratic policies and find it infuriating. Technology often makes simple problems harder and policies seem designed to make no sense. Instead of fuming, how can I manage complexity without losing my sanity and temper?
A: You can manage complexity if you realize work can be like reruns of “The Keystone Cops” where everybody runs around while getting little done. Your best attitude is patience, kindness, and perseverance where you keep everyone focused on the end result.
A good friend of mine jokes that before you marry someone you should watch them try to use a computer with a really slow internet connection because that will tell you who they really are. Most of us manage a sunny disposition when everything goes according to plan. When problems are complex, many of us lose our charm. I tell clients it comes down to expectations. If you expect things won’t go to plan, chaos is normal, rules don’t make sense, and you’ll feel more peaceful. You’re not giving up by lowering your expectations. You’re preserving your sanity in a world fraught with complexity. If you gather around the water cooler venting or you send exasperated emails, you’ll expand your distress.
People will also back away slowly because you look like someone who could bite them. You may have to practice breathing, take a break, and remind yourself to lower your expectations. At first, you may have to use what I call “work place theater” where you act better than you feel. Fortunately, no one around you has telepathy, so if you act calm they’ll assume you’re calm. If we approach a problem frustrated before we start, our frustration infects anyone trying to help us. Practice lines like, “Take your time, I have all the time in the world,” or “I know this isn’t your fault and appreciate you trying to help me.” I know you may feel like blaming and have zero time to not have instant answers, but sharing that attitude won’t help you. Look at people at work who engender support and watch what they do.
Our work and business worlds are not going to get simpler and technology will continue to become more complex. A joke attributed to Albert Einstein is, “Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.” The hope for technology was that it would make our lives easier. As you’ve experienced, this does not always happen. Make it a habit to be patient, persevere, and continue to express your interest in a specific result. Give people the time to run around. What works may be something you don’t even understand.
If you get your result, take the win, and don’t scold others on the process. If you cultivate this attitude daily you make each work day an exercise in emotional and spiritual advancement. When Zen Buddhist students, who meditated for years in the mountains, asked their teacher what to do next the advice was, “Go down to the village.” The teacher knew it was easy to feel enlightened in the mountains and hard in the village. Your workplace is your village. Utilize all that glorious frustration to advance your skills and consciousness. Not only will you solve your problems but you might just use it to achieve enlightenment!
The last word(s) Q
: My current job is deadly boring and I struggle to be interested in doing it well. I want a promotion to a more interesting job. Is there a way to set myself up to have my boss see I’m so much more talented than my current job?
A: As Henry Ford, the American industrialist and founder of Ford Motor Company, correctly summarized, “Quality means doing it right when no one is looking.” If you cannot demonstrate quality in your current boring job, you’ll never move beyond your dead-end position.
Daneen Skube, Ph.D., executive coach, trainer, therapist, and speaker. She’s the author of “Interpersonal Edge: Breakthrough Tools for Talking to Anyone, Anywhere, About Anything” (Hay House, 2006). You can contact Dr. Skube at www.interpersonaledge.com or 1420 NW Gilman Blvd., #2845, Issaquah, WA 98027. Sorry, no personal replies. ©2023 Interpersonal Edge. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
