Work can be a place of solace. Photo by Jep Gambardella/Pexels
By Dr. Daneen Skube
Tribune Content Agency
Q: My job keeps becoming more chaotic. I don’t see my organization become calmer so what do you recommend to your clients for managing the increasing chaos of their work lives?
A: You can manage chaos if you stop looking to your outer world to find stability. The outer world will always be full of events that will often not go according to plan. The only way to cope well is to connect with our own deep roots.
Old trees have not survived because they managed to avoid wild storms. Old trees survive because they used the storms to send their roots deeper into the earth. These deep roots allow old trees the flexibility to adapt or sway without breaking. No self-respecting tree stands stiff and declares, “I have a right not to bend and I will ignore this wind!” Nature comes in many forms to both trees and humans. To the extent we refuse to develop deep roots, adapt to storms, and endure, we’ll suffer or break. The roots of humans hide in plain sight inside us.
When you get home from work today, go somewhere alone, your head unsupported, your back supported, close your eyes, and enter your sanctuary. At first you’ll notice inner chaos with thoughts and feelings swirling. Nod at them and breathe. You’ll eventually discover a quiet place, where your breath slows along with the inner and outer chaos.
As Stephen Richards, a British self-help author, summarized, “When you connect to the silence within you that is when you can make sense of the disturbance going on around you.” If you feel burdened by your current problems — review history. Many challenges, like the Black Death during medieval times, rival anything we’ve experienced today. Even during your work day you can find a quiet place when you’re overwhelmed. Just close your eyes and breathe to find that tranquility.
You’ll discover that it’s much easier to re-engage with your work when you become aware of being overwhelmed. In special education teachers work with kids to recognize three emotional states: green (emotionally calm and regulated), yellow (upset), and red (overwhelmed). Teachers want kids to recognize these inner states so students can use tools to bring their inner world back to green.
Make a list of actions that calm you when you’re upset. Post this list by your desk with both words and pictures (appeals to the nonverbal part of our brain). A list of ways to regulate yourself can help you feel back in control, especially when your outer environment makes you feel out of control. If we tell ourselves a story about being powerless, we’ll quickly move into and stay in a red zone internally. Even our brains work better when we’re in the green zone. The neocortex part of our brain that allows us to problem solve is offline when we enter the red zone. This is why people in the red zone seem irrational. The thinking part of their brain is not accessible.
We cannot see the future but we can grow our inner roots deep into ourselves to become resilient to whatever trouble we have now or in the future. From now on you’ll have a free all access pass that gives you membership to a sanctuary of serenity open 24 hours a day. All you have to do is close your eyes!
The last word(s)
Q: Every day at work I face a long list of tasks. I immediately struggle to figure out how to prioritize everything on my plate. Is there a lens to help me figure out what to do first?
A: Yes, as Peter Drucker, an Austrian-American business consultant, noted, “Efficiency is doing things right; effectiveness is doing the right things.” Start your day by highlighting the tasks that make you effective rather than just jumping into your list.
Daneen Skube, Ph.D., executive coach, trainer, therapist and speaker, also appears as the FOX Channel’s “Workplace Guru” each Monday morning. She’s the author of “Interpersonal Edge: Breakthrough Tools for Talking to Anyone, Anywhere, About Anything” (Hay House, 2006). You can contact Dr. Skube at www.interpersonaledge.com or 1420 NW Gilman Blvd., #2845, Issaquah, WA 98027. Sorry, no personal replies. ©2023 Interpersonal Edge. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
