Big Mama Said Don’t Let a Wishbone Grow Where a Backbone Should Be

School shootings and drug overdoses, community murder and racially motivated hate must go!

By Larry Allen

Whether it was the back porch or front porch, my grandmother, Lucille “Big Mama” Allen filled her 3 sons and 3 daughters, 16 grandchildren, 50 great-grandchildren, 38 great-great-grandchildren, 7 great great-great-grandchildren and a host of nieces, nephews, and bonus family members with strong Bible-based logic that uniquely resonated inside today’s current events and occurrences. She was our Ida B. Wells Barnett.

In that famous hands-on-hips stance, she would say, “Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be. For the ground beneath will hold you and you will know that you are free.”

While researching, we found that Journalist Clementine Paddleford uttered these magical words in 1920’s.

Today, what does it mean to not let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be? If you want more to come into your life, you must let more life come out of you. If you want something different to come into your life, you must let something different come out of you.

The reality is clear.  We all know it is extremely easy to fall into the trap of wishful thinking, whether you are on a spiritual path or not. A person may think life operates based on his or her feelings or the goodness of mankind but that is not true!  According to Endorlearning.com, Wishbone – emphasizes the importance of having a goal, a focus, and something to aspire towards. This bone provides us with personal motivation and keeps us facing forwards. Have big dreams. Backbone – underlines the importance of mental toughness, being resilient, and seeing things through.

So, I discovered that having a backbone means that you spoke of what is right and defended it as well.

In our current political climate, we are seeing more fear tactics and disinformation (a.k.a. lies) that are fueling three very serious issues in our community:   a) school shootings & drug overdose, B) community murders, and C) racially motivated hate. Per Big Mama, wishbone people have cooked up fear–driven rationale to create dire situations in our communities and schools. So what can we do?  Big Mama would tell you to, ‘change the recipe!’

Success is a recipe that must be seasoned according to the skills of the chef. If you aren’t achieving the success you had hoped for, you might want to “drastically” change the recipe.  Let’s examine our lives and try to see how we are doing with respect to making our schools safe, instilling community wellness, and preventing the return to the “Jim Crow” era in race relations.  So if Big Mama were here she would tell you to get cooking!

Terry Allen is an NABJ award-winning Journalist, DEI expert, PR professional, and founder of the charity – Vice President at FocusPR, Founder of City Men Cook, and Dallas Chapter President of NBPRS.org