By Melik
There was a point in time in your life that you had an impossible dream. Only at the time nothing seemed impossible. Your dream was pure. In your mind there was not anything that could deter you from reaching your dream. You had unbridled enthusiasm. You spoke about your dream with pride and confidence. If anyone were to ask you what was in your future you were able to answer without hesitation a profound statement that spoke on your ultimate goal in life.
Yet somehow at some point your dream faded if ever so slightly. There was something or a combination of things that caused you to deal with perceived reality before your seemingly lofty goals. It could have been something simple yet profound as there was no one around you that motivated you to fulfill your dream. Somewhere between developing your dream and learning your multiplication tables that thing called life began to grab hold and was able to change your trajectory.
I remember my dream vividly. We all have moments in our lives that are ingrained in our memory like a pillar on a timeline. I had a small role in a stage performance that was a continuation of the S. E. Hinton book The Outsiders. A student teacher guided us in writing what may have happened to the characters if the book had them continue on their journey. I was in second grade. Being a part of this play excited every part of my being. This memory still evokes great emotion within me. I could combine my first kiss, my first time seeing a nudie picture, my first roller coaster ride, getting my first job, buying something I wanted with my money and losing my virginity and it still would not add up to that feeling I had while being on stage. Yet no one around me encouraged me that my dream of wanting to be a performer was a viable option. It was not anyone’s fault though. I never told anyone that was my dream. There was no one that I knew personally that had anything to do with the arts that made a living at it.
Sure there was creativity around me. My father is a photographer. He developed his own film. He is a painter. There is a wonderful painting of me in his living room that has been hanging there for more years than I care to admit. It is a beautiful oil painting of a young boy that so desperately wanted to please his parents. Yet beyond the innocence was the beginning of the conflict and turmoil.
I remember my first production phone call. As a matter of fact it was my first phone call that I ever made on my own. I took my school directory, found someone that was in my class that I wanted to be in my theater group. I called him. His mother answered the phone. I told her who I was, asked for him, she said she would get him, she placed the phone down and within moments I was stricken with such a strong sense of fear that it felt as if my breath had escaped me and I could not regain it. The moment I hung up the phone before the boy could answer it I lost my dream.
I have spent a lifetime trying to recapture that moment when I was in second grade at Lowe Elementary School kiva in Louisville, KY playing a Greaser. I pushed my dream aside for a lot of years. The dream was way too powerful though. I have had some shining moments as a performer. I am very grateful for every one of them. I believe it has been worth the torture that I caused myself and those closest to me. Now I only wish I had really tried to seriously go after my dream with reckless abandon.
You have a dream. It is not lost. It is not gone. Let your dream regain its power. Let your dream regain its strength. Encourage someone close to you to find their dream again too. Your dream is not impossible.
Melik is an actor and a
comedian. He also writes poetry . He is currently writing about his experience being under 40 and being a stroke survivor. He may be contacted at
melik_2001@yahoo.com.
