By Charissa Patterson-Martinez
Who are your circle of friends and family? Do they encourage you or discourage you? While we should possess self motivational skills all on our own, it’s okay to distance yourself from constant negative energy. I’m sure that we’ve all met one or two of these people at some point in our lives.
Not long ago. I ran into a lady who usually greets me with a glum demeanor and matching dialogue. Here is how our conversation began:
Me: How are you today Jane?
Jane: Oh well, I could be better. The day is taking far too long to get over with and everybody is getting on my nerves. I should’ve called into work today.
Me: I hope your day gets better. How are you feeling?
Jane: Oh, I’m not sick, I just want to go home. How are you?
Me: I’m just happy to see the sun coming out from behind the clouds today and I’m feeling good. You have a good day and enjoy the sun. I’m glad you’re not sick like Mrs. B was last week. You are feeling well, right?
Jane: Oh yes, I’m fine.
Me: Great you take care, bye.
It was just one of those days I felt the need to subtly point out to her that things could be a lot worse. Her day is at least sunny and she has her health. I couldn’t resist this occasion. Sometimes her daily complaints wear on her co-workers around her. This brings everybody down. There was little room to escape her presence entirely since she is a co-worker. However, I do not openly invite this type of person into my personal circle. That’s not what I need in my life when I like to stay positive and on track.
Sometimes it’s a family member’s negative energy wearing you down. This is a little different because we love our family members and for the most part, family is ever present. Everyone has an opinion about everything, your life included. These opinions and advice are inevitably shared and are usually based on that person’s experiences and life events, good and bad. Listen, you might learn something from them. However, some things are shared from the person’s fear of something and/or ignorance regarding whatever subject is on the table for discussion. This is when it’s important to not let anyone else’s fear become your own. Do your own investigating on whatever you want to find out more about. If you’re sharing something with a friend or family member about something that you aspire to do and it’s dear to your heart, know who to not talk to about these things. It’s okay to seek a mentor outside of someone in your circle. This person may be able to shed some knowledge and guidance on the subject. Don’t consider it rejecting the friend or family member, this is just a matter of knowing how to bring you closer to your personal or professional goals. You do not need anyone hanging a dark cloud over your journey to personal growth. I encourage you to find your own circle of encouragers.
Charissa Patterson is wife, mother, daughter and friend. She is a motivational speaker and writes about inspiring individuals who seek personal enrichment and enlightenment. Charissa is originally from Lansing, MI and currently lives in Lens, Belgium.
This was printed in the June 1, 2012 – June 16, 2012 Edition
