By Melik
I do not ever remember my father playing ball with me. I never received an allowance. I was never allowed to spend the night at a friend’s house. I was never allowed to have a friend spend the night. I was never allowed to go to the picture show on my own or with friends. I was allowed to be in Boy Scouts because my mother felt I would be constantly supervised. During an overnight event a few others and I were able to sneak into a rated R show. It was my first rated R event. The movie was Sharky’s Machine starring Burt Reynolds. A huge deal then but now days the movie probably would be allowed on TV in its entirety. I was never allowed to go to a concert. My parents never taught me about politics. My parents never talked about religion. When my mother said she would be just a minute it was never a minute or five or ten or twenty minutes. I usually gave up waiting. I was never picked up on time for after school activities. I would get in trouble if I would try to get a ride home. I never went hungry but my parents never taught me about the birds and the bees and where babies come from. Yes, I asked. My mother’s response was that I was in the Boy Scouts so I probably already know everything I should know. I am still uncomfortably giggling over that one. I had an awesome time while I was involved with that organization with no funny business going on. I was never allowed to quit, which turned out to be a good thing.
When I went to college the never there was a huge shock. I never had anyone telling me that I could not do something that I wanted to do. So I did it all. All but do well in school. I never came home early. I never missed a party. I was never sober from Thursday through Sunday. Subsequently I never finished college. I know that I will never be able to go back to fix some nevers but I can only look forward.
I will never take another person’s feelings for granted. A have learned that we cannot control how we honestly feel about a situation. I will try my best to never be late and if I am I will let the person that is waiting for me know that I am on my way. I will never immediately dismiss what someone says to me. It is amazing how someone can hear you and dismiss you almost instantly. How many times have you watched someone look like they are just waiting for you to breathe so they can pounce with their words? How many times has someone talked over you before you could finish your thought? How many times does a person like that tell you that they wish someone would just hear what they are saying and have someone understand it? Well, surprise. No wonder no one hears them, they are not listening either. Man I used to hate it when my fifth grade teacher would say things like ‘when your mouth is open your ears are closed’. Oh but how right she was. I guess I should thank Mrs. Spencer for those great words of knowledge. I did not realize how true they were until years later when I realized how much I was not listening or being heard. Bleh.
I have never had children but if I ever do I will never treat them less than the great human beings that they are. Recently a young child was at a breakfast buffet and she asked what seemed to be her grandparents where the apples were. They kept repeating ‘over there’. The more she asked the more they said ‘over there’. I thought could they seriously be so consistently vague to the little girl. Finally I smiled at the child, pointed towards the apples and told her that they were on the table in the basket. She smiled and ran towards the apples. Raising children might be difficult but it sure does not seem too complicated. Here is another annoying cliché: Use your words. Ugh, do they ever stop? I hope I never do the nevers that were done to me. What nevers would you like to see change?
~Melik / me2upro.com
