I knew I had to go outside the comfort zone. I knew I had to get outside my hometown. I knew if I were going to be serious about the funny that I had to make some sacrifices. Doing open mic nights and being limited to five minutes is constraining. Then I was reminded I talk too much. I seriously use too many words and I have too long of a set up. When people go to a comedy show chances are they are not looking to hear a dissertation on the ways of the world before each punch line. Knocking my act down to five minutes is going to force me to get rid of all those extra words. Although I knew this, I did not like it one bit. I tell stories, true stories that have been examined, enhanced and then blown up into a monstrous size that is larger than life so that the funny can slap you in the face while hugging you around the waist.
Crowds are impossible to predict and difficult to read. I drove to the Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase so that I could observe the scene and introduce myself to the powers that be. I do not like going to Ann Arbor because it reminds me of when my mother was dying of cancer. She spent some time at the U of M hospital, with that as an underlying theme sometimes it is difficult to bring the funny. But I am an addict and I have to get me fix any way possible. I needed to introduce myself to the gatekeeper of the stage and microphone.
Ryan at the box office window was joyously animated when he told me that Roger was who I should ask for once I entered the venue. I was told that he would probably be at the end of the bar. As I was walking through the club I was scanning the scene like an investigative reporter, or rather a dreamer envisioning himself in place of those before him. To the right of me was the stage. The tables and chairs were very close in proximity as if to concentrate the potential kinetic energy. I could tell to the left of me were comics waiting to go on stage. There is something very telling about a group of people that are the same, very individual and all extremely anxious. I turned the corner and I knew right away which person was Roger.
Roger is small in stature, yet he seemed weathered in a way that added strength to his stature. He was surrounded by a few people that seemingly were engaged in conversation but no words were being spoken, Roger being extremely stoical. I introduced myself, he took my card and I went on my sales pitch. He silently took a long drag on his cigarette as he gazed down the bar. When I took a breath he asked me where I have worked. I informed him. He took another drag as I asked him if there was anything else that I should say in my quest to get some stage time. He quietly replied that I had said it. I offered my hand and thanked him for his time. I took my seat near the front of the stage and enjoyed the show as best I could considering my itch to be on the stage.
The next day I called to put my name in the hat. On Saturday Ryan informed me that I had been chosen to showcase my abilities the following Wednesday. Problem is I did not feel that I had an opening bit that would connect me to the people of Ann Arbor. Think about five minutes. The rule is to not go over five minutes. The audience begins to judge you as you approach the stage. They are sizing you up as you grab the microphone and take your stance. Before you even open your mouth they have begun to decide how they feel about you. And whether their feeling is leaning towards good or bad you have to make the audience accept you. And simultaneously you have to begin to bring the funny. Five minutes can feel like an eternity and at the same time feel like barely any time at all.
On the way to the venue I still did not have my opening. I was on my seventh day working out bits and trying them on people to only get blank stares and silence. I was becoming desperate when Jeff, with whom I was riding to Ann Arbor, started riffing. It took me about a full minute of laughing hysterically before I realized he was coming up with a fantastic opening. I openly cursed him as I was thanking him and begging him to slow down so that I could get my laptop working so I could capture what he was saying.
Within a couple of hours I was on the stage, my gut feeling like I had swallowed a plate full of rocks. However I could not help be excited to see how my two bits would be received in front of an audience that had no expectations of me. I knew I had about 15 seconds to get a positive reaction from the crowd. Magic happened. I could feel it seeping through my skin. Another laugh came through the crowd like a wave. The audience was with me. Some shouted out positive additions to what I was saying. With each laugh my stomach digested one of the rocks that were in my gut. Soon my whole body felt the euphoria that comes when you are moving the crowd in a positive way. Another set up, a punch line, I wait for it and a grand sense of satisfaction comes with each laugh. This is it, this is that feeling I have been starving for. I am a euphoric addict as I leave the stage to cheers, laughter, clapping and high fiving some of the audience members. I immediately begin to think when I am going to be able to get more. ~Melik / me2upro.com
