There was a man I worked for because I owed him money. He was a tyrant. On several occasions I witnessed him go off on a yelling streak so bad he made his female employees cry. This man, Jeff, was a man that had a strong drive to become very successful in the housing rental business. There was a map in his office that symbolized his desire to take over the world, not necessarily to rule it, but to own property throughout it. As I worked off my debt to this man I found his intensity an interesting trait that definitely helped him succeed, but the way he dealt with people was very disturbing at times. I wondered how he was able to keep employees. This was long before the unemployment environment we currently find ourselves in. Jeff was a workaholic with profound intensity. He was up extremely early. He stayed late. He would make sure that he had a constant eye on every aspect of his business. If one was a fan of a Machiavellian approach to business, Jeff would be admirable.
Jeff got married, which did not cause much of a change in his behavior or his presence as far as business went, at least not at first. Yes, he did spend a little less time at the office however, it was not very noticeable. I did happen to see him with his new bride at different public events which seemed strange but not necessarily unreasonable. Then Jeff’s wife blessed him with a child. She had a healthy baby boy. What happened next blew me away. Jeff became a doting father. Early morning meetings with him barking orders at everyone, turned into baby bouncing, drool wiping, and calm time to admire the little one. The baby changed the atmosphere for the better and work still got done.
I asked Jeff directly, here I will paraphrase, how did he go from a mean maniacal jerk to this subdued soft spoken yet still focused man? He simply said everything is different when you have a child. I tried to get him to expound on that statement, but to no avail. I was shocked at the transformation. There were no more tears in his office. He spent less time on the work sites. He spent less time in the office, also. Then within a year or so he got a divorce, worked out a way to retire from the business, but remained an owner, and moved to Florida with his son. If I had not witnessed the transformation I would not have believed it. I was awestruck.
I have never had the privilege of taking part in creating life. I am envious of those that have and admire those that do it well. I loathe those that treat their children badly. Please do not get all loopy on me and talk about how I do not understand that children can be difficult and sometimes you need a break. I get it, but that is no excuse for not allowing a kid to be a kid.
One should develop a sound support system that can step in when times get a little hectic. I have lived with children. I know exactly what a parent means when they say something like “I am ready for little Johnny to go somewhere”.
Recently I had an opportunity to help someone out with baby duty. Little Alex is 6 weeks old. Normally I would say that is a little young for me to help take care of a baby. I still get nervous and I think somehow a child that young is going to break in my arms. I went over under the pretense of just trying to help out. I did not want to let on that I was very much looking forward to spending some time with a little person, still innocent, and still sweet. The beauty of a baby is absolutely stunning. When they are calm, it creates a surreal serenity. When they are not – what is the opposite of absolute peacefulness? I tried not to seem too eager when I was asked to feed baby Alex. I tried not to seem too giddy when he let out a healthy burp that would rival any adult. I tried not to grin too big when he fell asleep on my chest as I pretended to watch a movie. In reality, I was soaking in everything that little Alex did. His breathing, the way he moved his lips, how his eyes would pop open then slowly close as he drifted off to sleep, the way his hands would grasp at the air, how he would move his tiny body to be in a position that better suited him. All of it amazed me. I tried not to seem too excited when a picture was taken of me holding the sleeping bundle of all that is good in the world. I tried not to look too forlorn when Alex’s mother took him away. I still do not fully comprehend the transformation that happened to Jeff, but I have acquired an insight. Creating life can cause a personal transformation. I hope to see baby Alex again very soon, we have a lot to not talk about.
~Melik / me2upro.com
