By Joe Walker
“How many rights does it take to get left?”
The leading cause of breakups in America: couples traveling together … by automobile. Being close in unfamiliar surroundings can inject excitement into a relationship. Each other’s opinion on getting to this destination is a lethal injection.
When you planned this trip your intention was going somewhere to enjoy time together. Going your separate ways is where you end up. This was not on the itinerary.
There are stereotypes that suggest men don’t ask directions and women can’t read maps. Not true.
Men and women both ask for directions, they just ask the wrong persons; like the 80-year-old gas clerk out in the middle of nowhere. He doesn’t really know how to get back to the highway, but his male pride won’t allow him to tell you he doesn’t. He points you in the wrong direction, and now you’re mad at each other. “I told you he wouldn’t know. Why did you ask him anyway?” “You told me too!” “Oh, so now you listen to me! You didn’t listen when I told you take exit 34! You didn’t listen when I said don’t where those green shorts!” “Exit 34? You said 43!” “You knew what I meant!”
Lets say you’re driving through Kentucky on your way to somewhere in Tennessee. You’ve printed directions on Yahoo Maps. Your significant other got directions from Map Quest. They don’t agree; neither do you on an upcoming exit. So you pass it, settling for the next exit to stop for help. You begin to argue over which “next exit” you should take, eventually pulling off to a roadside convenient store where you ask someone… with an out-of-state license plate! They’re probably lost too. You become angrier at each other. “Oh… I see why you asked THAT person! Why don’t you just ride with them?” “You didn’t have to come on this trip, you know? I’d be just as happy lost out here by myself!” “I’d be just as happy if you weren’t here either!” “WHAT?!”
Men and women both can read maps, just not accurately in a timely fashion. “Okay, I think we’re heading west. This looks like about where… OH, TURN HERE!” “I past it!” “Well turn around!” “Turn around where?” “I don’t know! You’re the one driving!” “You’re the one with the map! Why didn’t you tell me to turn earlier?” Because I was reading the dang map! Stop driving so fast! I told your butt to slow down fast minutes ago!” “You said in five minutes start slowing down! Make up your mind!” “I know YOU’RE not talking! We’d be there already if you’d packed last night, instead of when we should’ve been leaving!” “Why don’t you just leave me alone?” “I will! As soon as we get back I’ll leave you alone forever!”
This was not on the itinerary.
