Nekeyta Brunson has been dealing with alopecia since elementary school.
Courtesy photo
By Nekeyta Brunson
TNCP Community Writer
Alopecia is an autoimmune disease, in which the immune system mistakenly attacks the hair follicles and leads to hair loss. It’s been found in most cases that hair falls out in a few small round patches about a quarter in size. Sometimes this is as far as it goes; however, in some people hair loss can go beyond the scalp and be more extensive. In some cases the disease can progress to cause total loss of hair on the scalp (alopecia Areata totalis) or complete loss of hair on the scalp, face, and body (alopecia Areata Universalis). Alopecia is not a life threatening disease. It does not cause physical pain, but for most people its affects them primarily socially and emotionally.
My earliest memories of alopecia date back to early elementary; when I was given the diagnosis of Alopecia Totalis and was told there is not a cure. I wasn’t quite sure what to think of it. I was waiting for the reaction of the adults around me to tell me how to feel. But it was the neighborhood and school kids that would shape my opinions about it for years to come.
The kids were very mean and cruel. I can remember kids pulling my hats and wigs off many times throughout my adolescent years. Being teased, taunted and bullied was my normal. Wigs were not covered under insurance policies, because they were considered “cosmetic fixes” and most of them were $100 plus. So this led to wearing wigs that were cheap and obviously not for a child. Can you imagine being a little girl and not being able to wear a ponytail, a pretty bow or braids and beads? I avoided sports and amusement parks at all costs. I would avoid any situation I felt like would cause my wig to fall off.
I went into a state of denial as I got older. I wanted to pretend no one knew I didn’t have hair. I didn’t want to be recognized as the girl with no hair or the girl who wore wigs anymore. So for over 10 years I lived my life hiding from the truth because society tells us that a woman’s hair is her glory, it is what makes you beautiful, it’s your first impression. Society told me that hair is what makes you a woman. I was taught to keep “my business” secret. “You don’t go around telling your business,” my family would say. So during those years I felt like a boy. I would think, I don’t want my husband to feel like he was with a man! So I would do everything I could to be the prettiest woman he knew.
Some people may be wondering, so why now? Why after 20 years of hiding did you decide to share? What made you tell your story? The answer is not simple. It was a number of things that had to come together for me. It did take a lot of courage.
1. My Faith. I realize that I had to let my faith be bigger than my fears. Even if the worst thing that could happen to me, actually happened, then what? I would still survive! I also realized a part of me was editing my truth in fear of hurting those who hurt me.
2. Social Media. While social media outlets get a bad rap sometimes, for me it was a big role in why I finally feel okay with sharing what I hid for so long. The fact that I could click on a specific hashtag and see other beautiful bald women just like me. Those images liberated me! Most of them had family, husbands and children who love them in spite of their hair loss. That reminded me of what I had going for myself verses seeing what I didn’t have.
3. Support. As I grew older and rebuilt my self esteem God blessed me with wonderful, genuine people along the way. I allowed them into my life and they got to know me first and not my condition. I felt so comfortable with the woman they would tell me they saw in me. It was a huge step. I had to realize for as much as I allowed negative people to take away from me I had to allow positive people to pour back into me.
Ultimately, I feel like all the years I spent hiding I wasted! I believe God had allowed this diagnosis for a bigger purpose. It wasn’t until I started opening up to others that I could distinguish lies from the enemy for my truth. When you hold on to a lie for long periods of time it becomes your truth in your mind. No one should live that way. So now I choose to spend my time encouraging others and helping them see the truth in their lives, by motivating and praying with and for them.
Where do I go from here? Now that I’ve accepted who I am, I plan to use what the enemy meant for bad to do good. Going forward I’m working on projects for consulting women and children with hair loss issues and soon owning my own line of children’s wigs that would be affordable for families in need. Teaching people to love every part of them no matter the diagnosis!
Nekeyta Brunson is a wife and mother of four children. She is an entrepreneur.
Find her on facebook or Follow her on instagram @nekeb.
Referenced website: http://www.niams.nih.gov/Health_Info/Alopecia_Areata/
This was printed in the September 20, 2015 – October 3, 2015 edition.
