By Melik
It feels good when someone shows appreciation for something that you have done. A simple gesture of gratitude can promptly put a positive spin on an otherwise mediocre day. I have always felt that positive reinforcement goes a lot further than any negative feedback. I do understand sometimes someone might have to just break it down to brass tacks. That may be necessary but uncomfortable, however if done skillfully it can still be a favorable transaction. I believe that you would agree that being positive is good. Am I wrong?
Have you ever given someone a compliment on an outfit and gotten a strange response of deprecation? The person that you complimented begins to spew excuses about how the outfit is somehow not deserving of admiration. They might say that the outfit is old, or borrowed to lessen the significance of the compliment. A response like that always makes me feel uncomfortable. Sometimes people react in a severe way, alluding that you are claiming any other day they may look worse for the wear and at that moment in time is when they are acceptable to be seen in public. Where does that come from?
I wonder why two words are so difficult to say for a lot of people. I wonder why negativity permeates people’s lives so. I wonder why giving someone a compliment causes some people anguish. I have seen some extreme adverse reactions to someone voicing positive words. What is it about our social interaction that says a person is not allowed to stand proud and say ‘thank you?’
Are our lives so busy that we can not take that brief moment to pause and have favorable exchanges? So often I see people on their phones while paying for items treating a cashier as if they are not a fellow human being that with feelings. It is as if they have the same attitude as when they are at an ATM machine. So often I see people in such a rush on both sides of the counter. I am not a hundred percent myself but I do try to pause, look the cashier in the eye and say please as well as thank you. It is amazing what you can get with a smile. You get a smile back. If you get good at it you can get a little more too.
I was at a shoe store that was having a great sale. I waited patiently for the cashier to finish whatever it was that she was doing. I smiled and asked her how she was doing. You know the usual exchange; however I did it earnestly. You see, the sale on shoes was great but I wanted to see if it could get a little better deal. She took another ten dollars off of one of my pairs of shoes, without hesitation. It was so smooth I don’t even remember the details of how it went down. I took those two words and added two more while looking directly into her eyes – ‘Thank you very much’. Just for a little icing I added ‘I appreciate you’. Her co-worker that was nearby during the whole transaction had a puzzled look on her face as if she had witnessed something extraordinary.
I challenge you to find your thank you again. You had it once because someone somewhere taught it to you when you were a child. Don’t tell me you don’t remember the please and thank you drills. Practice in the mirror if you have too. And remember to smile a sincere smile. It’s a simple formula and its only two words.
From me to you, I thank you for taking some time out of your day to read my column and yes, I am smiling.
Melik is an actor and a
comedian. He also writes poetry . He is currently writing about his experience being under 40 and being a stroke survivor. He may be contacted at
melik_2001@yahoo.com.
