The Kid’s Doctor: Talk with your teen about dating violence

By Sue Hubbard, M.D.
 
 It’s a frightening number. According to a new survey by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1 in 4 women say they are violently attacked by their intimate partner. As a pediatrician, I often talk with teenaged patients about dating abuse. My best advice to parents is to do the same.
 
  Your teen no doubt remembers all too well the headlines about pop star Rihanna and (then) boyfriend, Chris Brown’s, dating rage. This Page 1story filtered through the halls of every middle school, high school and college. The unfortunate truth is that dating violence surrounds young people and affects everyone around them. 
 
  The numbers are especially bad in the teen age group: One in three teenagers say they know a friend or peer who’s been hit, punched, slapped, choked or physically hurt by their partner. This startling statistic is what is “reported.” I can’t help but wonder how many cases go unreported and remain whispers among friends?
 
  Teen dating violence knows no boundary; it runs across race, gender and socio-economic lines. Both males and females are victims. Verbal abuse cuts through a teen’s heart, with 80 percent of teens saying this is a “serious issue” for their age group. When asked whether their parents have discussed dating violence with them, 54 percent of teens say they have not.
 
  Begin the dialogue today! Teach your kids that dating abuse comes in many forms – physical, sexual, verbal and emotional. Let them know that at any time they feel threatened by their partner, they should tell someone and seek help.
 
  Also, talk to your children about healthy relationships. Tell them to trust their instincts, communicate clearly and always be in control of themselves. You’ve heard me talk about the 10 steps to better parenting. Step No. 1 is: Model the behavior you expect. Demonstrate for your children first-hand what a healthy relationship you have with your spouse or significant other; it’s the basis for raising healthy, resilient kids.
 
  For more information, contact the National Teen Dating Violence Abuse Helpline 1-866-331-9474.
 
 
Dr. Sue Hubbard is a nationally known pediatrician and co-host of “The Kid’s Doctor” radio show. Submit questions at www.kidsdr.com
 
This was printed in the February 24, 2013 – March 9, 2013 Edition