Interpersonal Edge: Improving your mind, improves the daily grind

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By Dr. Daneen Skube

Tribune Content Agency

Q: I never have enough time. My task list never gets completed. Are there ways I can improve my time management at work?

A: Yes, ironically the only way to improve your time management is to get to know and change the way you internally problem solve. As Robin Sharma, a Canadian writer, observed, “Productivity is less about what you do with your time. And more about how you run your mind.”

As with many struggles in life and work, a change in outer circumstances requires a change in our inner habits and awareness. When clients are failing to manage their time, I’ve noticed these habits:

  1. They’re focusing on making everyone else happy.
  1. They have not figured out their priorities.
  1. They are more scared of being judged poorly than motivated by their goals.

Time management requires self-knowledge about what you want. Time management requires the ability to focus on your priorities. Furthermore, time management means you stop wasting time on what doesn’t matter.

If you want a snapshot of your current mind, keep detailed notes on what you do all day long for just one day. At the end of the day, read the list as if you are reading notes from a stranger. What do you believe this person values and wants? Our current psychological state is observable based on what we spend our time on.

 

I think the phrase “spending time” is useful because time, like money, is something we invest in. Financial planners point out that even small amounts of money can make our budget leaky. The idea is that daily fancy coffee purchases can really add up.

Similarly, we have things we waste time on that don’t really move us forward. There are actions that are “nice” and actions that are powerful. You should want to know the difference. Chatting at the water cooler is “nice.” But if you chat too much at the water cooler, your priorities languish.

Ironically, most of us look at our problems through the lens of what feels good now and not what will be good to further our goals. Some experts have even suggested that the chaos in our world is making most of us have functional ADHD. With ADHD the brain cannot stay on track or figure out what’s important.

So many problems at work and in life originate in our inner world. Unfortunately, we focus on what we have no power over – others. We fail to investigate the origin of our habits and perceptions – ourselves. We are kings and queens of our own inner kingdom, yet our throne sits empty as we’re often unwilling to assume that mantle of responsibility for ourselves.

The most thrilling part of my therapy and corporate work is watching clients’ faces as it dawns on them that the prison they are in is of their own making. They then use the tools I teach as the key out of their current suffering. Watching my beloved clients growing wings to fly to the freedom of a more peaceful life is the emotional paycheck I get every day.

If you’re ready to accept the crown of self-advocacy and deeply explore your inner kingdom, freedom, gifts, and power awaits you. What you can achieve outside of yourself is only limited by your willingness to explore that vast expanse within you.

The last word(s)

Q: There’s a guy in my office who is full of opinions based on no facts. He’s imperious to any amount of data challenging his perspectives. Is there some reason people refuse to think?

A: Yes, as John F. Kennedy, the 35th president of the United States noted, “Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.”

Daneen Skube, Ph.D., executive coach, trainer, therapist and speaker, also appears as the FOX Channel’s “Workplace Guru.”  She’s the author of “Interpersonal Edge: Breakthrough Tools for Talking to Anyone, Anywhere, About Anything” (Hay House, 2006). 

You can contact Dr. Skube at www.interpersonaledge.com or 1420 NW Gilman Blvd., #2845, Issaquah, WA 98027. Sorry, no personal replies.

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