Dear Readers,
Happy New Year. The cost of living has risen so much. I went to purchase some eggs and they were $4.77! How are you doing in this current environment?
I have been told that if you are happy with your job, family situation, and living conditions you may be faring better than most. Being financially sound, enjoying family dinners, and having an occasional get-together with friends also helps to maintain peace. No one should have to take out personal loans or deplete retirement or college accounts to pay for groceries or utilities. What is even worse is that some are using credit cards to pay for day-to-day needs.
They seem not to match but life management and devotion are two experiences that I am expecting for myself in the new year.
Oftentimes we expect miraculous changes in our lives but we are not devoted to making the necessary changes. Instead of making a resolution for 2023, I sat on my couch with my dog, Oatmeal, curled at my feet and counted down the minutes.
I said aloud, “In 2023, I will be devoted to me, myself, and I.” It is not selfish or selfless. It is self-care. Before reaching a point of exhaustion, remember if you are not kind to yourself, you will not even know that others are being unkind to you. Why do some insist on struggling instead of sitting in the space of knowing that it takes more energy to struggle?
Most likely the goals that we make for the new year have to do with “reducing.” Whether it is our bills, stress, body weight, or settling for people, places or things, or becoming more outgoing or less extroverted, these things take time.
Learn how to say, “No.”
Learn how to say, “Here is $10.00 towards the cookies for the snack sharing.”
Learn how to say, “No technology today.”
Learn how to listen to your voice and your gut feelings.
With this in mind, consider consolidating your thoughts in a journal. If that is too much buy 3×5 cards or sticky notes. If you have no one to tell you how brilliant and worthy you are, remind yourself. Allow your smile to lower your blood pressure, no one is more important than you. The notes you leave yourself may be the best way to change your mindset for the day. It sounds unreal but it worked for me. Your mental health is important.
If you feel as though you cannot help yourself, please seek mental health advice from a professional. Research the options that would be best for you by asking questions. The decision that you make can affect both you and your family. In 2023, let’s get our minds and bodies together.
My goal is to be devoted to myself. I have actually been washing the dishes every night. Well, maybe not every night, but within a decent amount of time. Shutting my computer down and watching a comedy has filled my soul, listening to music while folding clothes, closing cabinet doors (I never understood why I did not close them in the first place), and wearing warm socks (they do not make socks that make your feet toasty that look good).
Who cares? The smile on my face is wider, my almost empty nest is quiet, my refrigerator has fruits and vegetables in it (I am on my last pack of cookies) and I have been calling people who mean a lot to me. Why is it that we concentrate on the people who treat us the worst? There was a lot of gaslighting in 2021 and 2022.
According to Merriam-Webster, “gaslighting” was the word of the year for 2022, after searches rose by 1,740 percent in the last 12 months, and it was looked up multiple times, every single day. The dictionary broadly defines gaslighting as “the act or practice of grossly misleading someone, especially for one’s own advantage.”
That includes those who expend a lot of time to take something from you that probably is worth less than the trust you no longer have. It is not worth it.
Be devoted to yourself. I understand that everyone’s needs are different. Welcome the opportunity to manage your own life by collaborating with those who provide positive solutions to reduce negativity, grief, and/or stress. Find out what you want in the world that is attainable. You can’t make people love you the way that you want them to and please do not try, it is futile. You don’t have to pick up the phone to answer if you are already irritated when their name pops up on your screen. Drive slower, pay attention, breathe a little deeper, and understand yourself and you may find that you are quite satisfied with being devoted to the most important person in your life – you.
In 2023, I have decided to travel a little more. I realize now that my children are not children any longer. They have minds of their own and do as they please. I am grateful that they are all responsible human beings. You can not dictate the relationships you have with them. They choose. They may say things to hurt your feelings but just know that it is a process called learning.
Even if they do not make all of the right decisions, be grateful that most of them are a part of the process. I will be working on The New Citizens Press Review. It is a vodcast which I love doing. It is on our website www.tncp.net. In 2022, we partnered with Black-owned media sources from California, Iowa, Texas, and Minnesota. I am growing, the brand is growing and I hope you are growing too.
This edition begins our 22nd year! I hope we continue to WOW you.
Love people,
Rina Risper
