What one person considers “abnormal,” another might see as “genius.” We are as unique as snowflakes when compared to one another. Clearly, if the “abnormality” stems from mental health issues, it’s crucial to seek guidance and treatment from professionals.
Adobe photo
Dr. Daneen Skube
Tribune Content Agency
Interpersonal Edge
Q: I’m depressed and demoralized and nothing I’m doing seems to be working at work. I dread going there, and come home drained. I feel thoroughly burned out in my career. What can I do when I’m at the end of my rope in my current industry?
A: When you’re at the end of your current rope, you’re in an ideal position to find a new, more rewarding, rope to climb. Not all jobs work for all people for a lifetime.
There’s nothing wrong with reinventing your career, and yourself mid-career.
The saying that desperation is the mother of invention is good advice here. Most adults are stubborn and won’t change, unless they hit bottom. Hitting bottom in a career looks exactly like you’re describing. In a career that’s good for you, you’ll get both a financial and emotional paycheck.
Most adults find it hard to imagine a different job or life than they currently have. I notice the proliferation of documentaries on television that show people selling everything and moving to a $1 home in Italy. On television, this “jump-off-the-cliff-with-no-parachute” approach looks glamorous. However, in real life, change is easier if it’s gradual.
I’m not knocking your “stop the world and get off fantasies.” Many people enjoy the “sell everything and move to a new country” relief valve when life becomes a grind. My family watched one show called, “Mediterranean Life.” Everyone on the shows says the same thing: They wanted to slow down, have a higher quality life, and have better work/life balance.
Despite what people say on Mediterranean Life, a quality life is not a specific zip code or job. One person’s heaven is another person’s hell. The thing is to start exploring what makes you happy, rather than dramatic change.
Try the following tricks:
1) Go to your closet and look at your clothes. If you were a stranger, what would these items tell you about the person?
2) Enter your house, as if you are a stranger. Walk around, evaluating what the person who lives here values.
3) Look at shows you watch, books you read, and things you dream of doing.
Now take all this data and imagine the kinds of careers that would be interesting to the person you’re learning you are. Don’t believe that just because you’re a certain age you know yourself. Without deep inner work, most adults only possess a superficial knowledge of their authentic identity.
A good career requires you to dig deeper into your inner world. Otherwise, you’ll live a life and work in a job that might be great for the person you think you are, but not the person you really are.
In therapy sessions, I frequently find myself saying to clients, “You aren’t who you used to be, and you have no idea who you’re becoming, but you are working hard to find this new you. It’s only then that I can help my client pick the right job, people, or education that makes them happy.
On bad days, feel free to fantasize about dramatic change to provide relief. Then get back to exploring what rewards your new rope has to offer you and let go of your old rope.
The last word(s)
Q: The career goals I have involve an overwhelming number of steps. I’m older and not sure my goals are worth it? Do you have advice for someone who dreams of hitting the moon but is tired?
A: Yes, as the American writer William Faulkner noted, “The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” Even if you don’t hit the moon, but try, your life will be richer and you may even…hit a few stars!
Daneen Skube, Ph.D., executive coach, trainer, therapist and speaker, also appears as the FOX Channel’s “Workplace Guru” each Monday morning. She’s the author of “Interpersonal Edge: Breakthrough Tools for Talking to Anyone, Anywhere, About Anything.” Contact Dr. Skube at www.interpersonaledge.com or 1420 NW Gilman Blvd., #2845, Issaquah, WA 98027. Sorry, no personal replies.
©2024 Interpersonal Edge.
