Photo by Eren Li
By Dr. Daneen Skube
Tribune Content Agency
Q: I’m in my 20s and the advice that worked for my parents isn’t working for me. I’m barely making ends meet and working long, hard hours. I also have college debt. How can young people get ahead when every day we fall further behind?
A: You’re right that the rules, culture, and career paths are different than the world your parents experienced. You’re also right that it’s hard for young people. Young people can get ahead if they look ahead and plan for the new world they have to navigate.
For my readers that have teens, consider the Running Start programs that allow high school students to gain two years of college credit during their junior and senior years of high school. You’re saving your kids two years of college debt when they launch.
For young people already launched, consider every way you can save money. Consider moving back in with your parents, roommates, and living as frugally as possible.
Advertisers are financially seductive with youth, wanting to persuade you that you have to have the latest and best. Instead, buy secondhand and don’t spend a premium on sexy tech.
I remember when my husband and I were planning to get married we realized how expensive weddings were due to social expectations. We eloped, saved tons of money, and had a relaxing honeymoon. Then we discovered how expensive expecting a baby was, and purchased everything used.
Don’t fall victim to having subscriptions to everything and trying to keep up with less financially responsible friends. If you want to pay off that student loan, live like a frugal student to have the funds.
Also, consider what career path you are on. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be well paid. It doesn’t make you less evolved, spiritual, or selfish to make good money. In any industry, there are jobs that pay better and jobs that pay worse even with the same credentials. Be thoughtful about the job you have, and the jobs you’re considering to increase your pay.
You don’t have to get discouraged because you’re traversing a different world with changed rules from your parents. Most parents of adult kids realize their young adults have a much steeper hill to climb. The more we stare at the past and feel deprived about our present, the less creative energy we can apply to adaptive strategies.
Feel free to take a moment to grieve your difficulties, but don’t let your wistfulness for your parents’ career track distract you from making the best of your current world.
When we get stuck in frustration, we’re often fighting with accepting what’s in front of us. Keep in mind accepting isn’t liking, it’s a willingness to engage reality. We can only see opportunities that exist within our challenges, if we accept realities that are disappointing.
The last word(s)
Q: A guy at work enjoys calling me weird when I don’t agree with him. I’m pretty conventional so I never know what to say to him. Do you have a snappy comeback?
A: Yes, tell him, “Thank you, did you know the root origin of the word weird means one that controls his or her fate.” Then look pleased and walk away.
Daneen Skube, Ph.D., executive coach, trainer, therapist and speaker, also appears as the FOX Channel’s “Workplace Guru” each Monday morning. She’s the author of “Interpersonal Edge: Breakthrough Tools for Talking to Anyone, Anywhere, About Anything” (Hay House, 2006). You can contact Dr. Skube at www.interpersonaledge.com or 1420 NW Gilman Blvd., #2845, Issaquah, WA 98027. Sorry, no personal replies.
©2023 Interpersonal Edge. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
