Plain Talk 4-5

By Frank Risper     

Who is willing to pay the cost to be the boss? I am talking about us men, standing up and being accountable for something. Yes, I am talking to you. I am also talking to myself. What about that beautiful wife that God blessed you with? What about your children? Are you doing all you can do for them? Who comes first in your life? You or your family? It goes without say that God is the head of your life right? Anyway, I can talk big right now because I know that I am doing all that I can for my family. I am happy to be in a position to do so. I thank God. But enough about me, what about you?
       Are all of your children under your roof or did they grow up in your home under your watchful eye?  Were you or are you the type who likes to spread yourself around? You know, a baby here, a baby there? If so, you have to ask yourself, where is the honor in doing that? You know as well as I that it is not good for anyone involved. God instituted marriage and the family. That is what we should be trying to follow.
      As a man you are a very important part of that picture. Every family is 100% better off with a strong, positive male figure in the home, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. I do not believe that God is happy with anything less. You must have heard the saying… a moment of pleasure turning into a lifetime of pain. In a moment lives are changed for the worst for the mother and the child as well as you. Now I understand that things may have happened between you and the mother but you not keeping in touch with your children on a regular basis is unacceptable.
   Now think long and hard about it, having no father in the home or a strong, positive male role model to look to is no joke. I know that for a fact.
      So for those of you who cannot or choose not to stand up for your children here are a few ways that it could work out for you.
       Number one, the child does not get to know you at all because you have moved on to another city, state or country. Your children grow up maybe wondering what you look like, what kind of person you are, or maybe they just hate you or do not care about you at all.
      Fair is fair right? For some you may live in the same city as your child but you choose not to make time for them. Perhaps you are just into yourself? The important things to you are your new house that you had built, your golf game, your friends, the ladies! After all you paid your child support, right! At least some of the time right? I can hear you saying…  “I am not that far behind!”
       Let me ask you a question, do you really think that your children care about the child support? If you do, then you are fooling yourself. Your love is what they care about. Your little girl needs to hear from you that she is a princess, not from the boy down the street because we all know what he is after. Money is not always the key but is still necessary for their upkeep.  If they lived with you or if you saw them on a regular basis, you would be able to see your hard earned money at work.
      Number two, you may have moved on and started another family with a new wife, maybe she had children already and you both raised them. That is all right but that does not mean that your other children have to be left out does it?
      As time moves on, you get older. The children that you once left behind are now grown. They no longer need you as much. In fact, now you need them. Do they have time for you? Things have a way of coming full circle. Now you are thinking about “your” children and the time you missed with them.
      You start thinking about how you want to (play Daddy). After all, you paid your child support right? Your children made it through all of the crap that the world has dished out by the grace of God. Your baby girl is now in medical school and you want to brag about what she has done with her life. You did pay your child support, right?      And your son looks just like you, a very proud young man and a credit to his community. A chip of the old block. Is that what I heard you say? STOP! Think about your choice. Were you willing to pay the cost to be the boss? Please do not be mad at the messenger. But the message is clear we have to stop having children and abandoning them.
      Maybe it is not to late. God is a God of forgiveness. People can forgive also.  The next time you are spending money on people, places and things you can’t really afford you need to think about the excuses you gave when it is time to look you children in their eyes, if you can look in them at all.
    Remember to trust in God only, keep faith, and work toward a pure heart, God will be pleased.